Natrah Bte Maarof

Natrah bte Maarof / Huberdina Maria Hertogh

(1937-2009)

When I was given this character, I was dumbfounded. I wasn’t really sure of my capabilities. Can I do this? I asked myself again and again. I’m a law student and acting is not my area of expertise. So it’s not easy for me. Really. Tambahan pulak watak Natrah ni sangat sukar untuk dibawa. Because Natrah is a character filled with emotions, and vulnerabilities. A child torn between the love of two mothers, two religions and a soul so pure, so genuine, so innocent. I instantly fell in love with this character. 

When I did my own research on Natrah, I can’t help but to cry. Her story is so sad that I could not hold back my tears. And a little by a little, I started to feel her pain. I went to the library and read her case. And again, I cried. I watched a documentary of her life made by Datin Fatini Yaacob. Sumpah kesian hidup Natrah ni. Starting from the day perebutan tu berlaku, sampai ke akhir hayat dia, hidup dia miserable. 

So to bring her story on stage, and to portray myself as Natrah, what more to make people feel what she felt, made me feel so small. Rasa tak mampu dan tak layak. Lagi pun, Teater Natrah ni dah pernah dipentaskan kat Istana Budaya, twice. Also under arahan Puan Erma Fatima. Kalau nak tengok yang IB punya ni,  SILA LIHAT DI SINI . Watak Natrah was played by Maya Karin, Mak Aminah was played by Umie Aida, and Mansur Adabi was played by Remy Ishak. So lagi lah rasa kerdil if anyone were to compare mereka yang sangat professional ni dengan kita orang ni. Maya Karin did a really good job menjadi Natrah. So yeah, I was scared.

And at first, I was really shocked when Puan Erma Fatima picked me to become Natrah. I was like.. Me? Really? Tapi, apabila dibimbing oleh Puan Erma, Encik Rashid (especially), Kakak Zam I started to have more confidence in myself. Latihan agak banyak. And I have to balance my studies dengan latihan. Quite difficult tapi I managed to do it somehow. And teater ni bukan sahaja ada lakonan, but ada tarian jugak. So there you go. I need to act and dance perfectly. Kakak Oggy was the choreographer. Susah tu memang lah susah because I’m a bit slow in dancing. LOL. But then, bila dah practice hari hari, bak kata Puan Erma, boleh laaaaa daripada tak ada. Haha. Walaupon time show tu ada lah nampak jugak kekayuan time menari tu. Haha. 

Show ada dua hari. 6 dan 7 Disember. And on both days, ada kekurangan dan kesilapan yang berlaku. But if you ask me, I think the first day was better. Nervous tu sangat membantu untuk perform dengan baik. Nak kena jaga emotions and expression, nak kena make sure suara kuat, and paling penting, I have to make the audience believe that I am Natrah. It's difficult. But I love it. When the spotlight hit me, and I was blinded by it, there's nothing that I could think of, other than just doing it. The feeling was surreal. HAHA. I sound so jakun. LOL. Yelah. This is my first time acting on ET's stage. Rasa overwhelmed. And then, bila dengar review and comments from those who came, ramai yang kata best, I feel happy. Very happy actually. 

My two darlings, Emma and Husna datang on both days! HAHA. I feel loved sangat sangat! Famili Halusinasi pon ramai gila yang datang. Aloi siap turun from Sarawak! And my Team Gatdem also ramai yang datang. *hugs* Cuma my Random Babies, Kakak Hani sorang je yang datang. But never mind.  Tu pon dah mencukupi. And most importantly, my bestie Zaza came to see me perform! Terharu! Hehe. Izzat also came. Thank you, awk. And you know what? Tiket habis dijual on both days! Full house I’m telling you! Second day tu lagi dasyat lah sebab sampai ada yang duduk atas lantai. Sebab kerusi dah full. HOHO. I’m waiting for the video to come out. Harap technical team ada lah yang rakam. =.=’ And harap, I don't sound weird in the video because I have always hated how I sound in any videos. 

Overall, I have learned a lot from this production. I learned more about myself actually. Dan macam-macam lah. To Sir Murali, Puan Erma, Encik Rashid, Kakak Zam, Kakak Oggy, thank you so much for guiding me. Seronok sangat bekerja under korang! To Abang Mansur Adabi, you're the best partner ever. Thank you sebab banyak ajar saya, made me laugh, and I will surely miss you picking on me and all of your lame jokes. To Mak Aminah, I just love you. Mak adalah seorang pelakon yang sangat bagus! Puteh harap mak akan sentiasa berjaya! kepada Norhan Fahmie kerana make up saya supaya jadi cantik (haha), kepada semua pelakon yang lain yang banyak memberi sokongan, adik-adik asasi yang menari dengan hebat sangat, crew yang membantu dalam semua aspek (costume, backstage, lighting, audio, dan lain-lain), and everyone yang terlibat in this production. I can never thank you enough. Natrah Theater Production has a very special place in my heart. And I love all of you very dearly. Semoga dapat berkerjasama lagi di masa akan datang.  Hopefully.  Amin. 

And ouh! Here are some of the photos during the show. Enjoy!

*CREDITS TO SHAHID FOR THE PHOTOS*

Si Kenit

Hello people!

I am happy to inform all of you that my sister-in-law has just delivered a beautiful baby boy! *pompoms* *fireworks* *balloons fly fly*

I am ecstatic beyond words! Biasalah, cucu pertama in the family. This little angel tak diberi nama lagi. But I call him, Si Kenit hence the entry title. :)

Si Kenit, this one's for you.

Petang 23 hb 7, dalam pukul 3 macam tu, tiba-tiba Abang Ujai aka Jojumbo called me. His voice sounded urgent asking for Ummi. And so I handed over my phone to Ummi and then after a few seconds on the phone she shouted:

 "Dah pecah?! Allah!".

I was lazing around in front of the televion, sprang on my feet once I heard those words. I was dumbfounded! I knew something has happened to my sister in law. Aku punya cuak macam aku yang nak terberanak dah. 

My brother is a houseman dekat Hospital Taiping So, he and my sister in law tinggal dekat sini,. Upon hearing the shocking news from my brother, ummi dah kelam kabut (bising sudah tentu) suruh my kakak and I kemas barang nak pergi Taiping time tu jugak. So we did. 

The thing is, barang baby satu benda pon tak ada lagi. Baju, basket, bekung, breast pump (ni untuk ibu), and semua barang keperluan seorang baby tak ada lagi! Sebab nya, si kenit ni patutnya keluar bulan 11, sama macam Hala Yana dia nie, but since he cannot wait to see the world, dia nak keluar bulan 8 jugak. So yeah, the baby is premature. Baru 7 bulan lebih-lebih sikit. So, petang tu jugak, Si Kenit's tak sabar aunts ni pergi cari barang untuk si kenit ni. We bought him cute tiny shirts (I wish I can post them up here so cute ai ken dai), tiny blankets, tiny towels, tiny wrapping cloth, tiny pampers, all the necessary things. Semua tiny and super adorable. Rasa nak gigit gigit je. Grrrr.

So lepas beli barang tu semua, we headed to Taiping. Dengan perasaan tak sabar, we terus pergi hospital dengan harapan Kakak Tini aka my sister in law akan deliver petang or malam tu. 

But you know, si kenit ni nak main-main dengan his aunts. He tak nak keluar petang, malam esok nya, esok esok nya pon tak nak keluar lagi. Kita dah tunggu dia punya lama, he still nak nyorok dalam tummy. Naughty little kenit. And finally, pukul 3.35 pagi 26 haribulan 8 baru dia nak keluar. Alhamdullilah, my sister in law and baby both selamat and sehat. Si kenit ni despite being kenit, he's a fighter. Cuma sebab he's too small, he kena masuk tubes to support his breathing because he was breathing too fast for a little guy. And tadi, he kena duduk dengan lampu dalam his incubator sebab my brother said that he kuning-kuning sikit. :( Be strong, kenit.

And you know, the look on my brother's face is indescribable. Dia yang sambut Si Kenit (one of the perks of marrying a Doctor. Nak kahwin dengan Dr jugak lah macam ni kahkah), azan kan, bagi semangat dekat my sister in law suruh push, semua lah. How lucky! *rants on marrying a Dr*

So itu lah cerita nak dapat kan Si Kenit ni. I tell you, the feeling of getting a nephew/niece is like.. Tak boleh nak cakap! You're happy, tak sabar macam kau yang nak beranak, dah plan nak beli macam macam contohnya benda ni:

Bukan nak beli baby ni, tapi this cute moustache pacifier. And also, I've been thinking of the ways and strategies to become Si Kenit's favourite aunt in the whole universe. Yeah. Aku fikir sampai situ. I think I've been infected by the crazy aunt syndrome. HAHA.

To my little Kenit, I hope that you'll be free from the incubator, no more tubes dangling on you, and boleh balik rumah. Eventhough I won't be there when you're out of the hospital, but I promise you I'll go back home to see you every time I have the chance. 

I love you sangat sangat sangat Si Kenit! Promise!

Are You A Psychopath?

This test was given to me by my cousin. He said that this test was made by a Psychologist to determine whether you are a psychopath or not. 

So, if you would like to know something about you that you didn't know, something that is kept hidden within you, try to answer this question to unleash the monster in you. :) 

Ouh yeah, you'd have to answer this question by yourself. No asking, no googling, no nothing. Then only it's genuine. So, here goes the question. 

"At her mother's funeral, Zabedah *bukan nama sebenar* met a charming, young gentleman who caught her attention. She's attracted to him like a magnet. He was so fine and so her type. She could not get her eyes off him.

However, she forgot to ask his contact number. She knew nothing about him. Not even his name, not his phone number, not his email, nothing. She felt sad. Her mother has just passed away, and she did not get his contact number, the person she truly adores.

Things became worse when she got to know something. 

Late that night, she MURDERED her sister. 

Why?"

Feel free to drop your answer. 

P/s: I am a psychopath. I answered the question correctly. Beware. 

5 Reasons As To Why The Person We Like Should Not Know That We Like Him.

5 reasons as to why the person we like should not know that we like him.

5 sebab kenapa orang yang kita suka tak perlu tahu kita suka dia.

Because you know, if a person knows that you like him/her, it's either he'll respond kindly to it, ie by showing some interest, and later you guys will hook up and date each other, or he'll run away like a scared little boy (because he doesn't like you) which will make you go all OUUUCCCHHHHHHHHHHH! So yeah. Mana-mana respon pun akan jadi hurtful, not just the pain of being rejected, but also, if he's kinda responding quite okay to you, but it's hanging. You get what I mean? It means that, orang tu macam tahu kau suka dia, dan dia pun macam respon dekat kau, tapi lepas tu, dia senyap, kemudian respon balik. So, at times, you'll feel like, what laaaaaaa?! In other words, it's going no where. 

So bagi aku, lebih baik kalau kita suka seseorang (sila faham beul betul istilah ini ya) senyap-senyap. And to me, there are several factors yang menyebabkan kita suka seseorang tu:

1) External values: Mungkin just by the way he is, his simplicity, his big glasses, long hair, his height, his awkward shyness, the fact the you will immediately look away when you meet his eyes, (kantoi usha), him not speaking to you but cakap banyak gila with other people. Just by looking at him will make you smile, for no obvious reasons. Senang cakap, kau tak kenal sangat orang ni, jarang text, cakap apatah lagi, tapi kadang-kadang terjumpa, and kau agak observant dekat orang ni, and you like him because he has that sex appeal on you. 

2) Internal values: His ability to make you talk to him for ages and never get bored, or even texts, or how funny, and outspoken he can be, the level of sweetness he could reach, his high energy which is rather infectious, and how comfortable you are whenever he's around. The more you get to know him,  the more attracted you are to the inner him, not just on the outside. Or in other words, kau kenal orang ni, and kau selesa dengan perangai dia and cara dia bawak diri dia. 

3) Someone totally new: Ni paling best nak suka. Sebab dia macam puzzle, where you'd have to find the missing pieces. You might like him by his physical, but baru sekali cakap dengan dia and lepak sama, you are attracted to his attitude jugak (or the fact that he has a lovely voice and can speak English really well. LOL). So, he's like a magnet la. Dalam kata lain, kau tak kenal sangat, and kenal sangat pun tak dia ni, tapi kau just suka dia sebab physically he's quite attractive, and he has many other extra ticks as well (not just his physical). 

So having said all that, here's my top 5 list as to why kita patut SUKA orang tu tanpa orang tu mengetahui nya. Cekidauttttt~

#1 - No obligation. 

Maksudnya, you are not responsible for him, and he is not responsible for you. Masing-masing buat kerja msing-masing. You can carry out your life and he can continue on with his, without having any obligation or responsibility towards each other. So, this could save many arguments, misunderstanding and fights and also, this could save time and money.

#2 -Free as a bird. 

Maksudnya, you are not tied to him, and neither is he tied to you. You can mingle with whoever you want, wherever and whenever. So your movement or social life are not restricted. Like come on, you're still not married, you'd want to get to know people. Kalau he knows that you like him, and you go mingle with other people as well, he'll probably think that you're not interested in him, where the fact is, you do like him more than any other person. So tak ke terjadi nya confusion dan misunderstanding di situ?

#3 -Motivation. 

Maksudnya, the person you like ni macam sumber inspirasi dan motivasi you la. Contohnya, you're single and life could sometimes be dull and boring, so having someone you like could add spices and colours to it. So instead of only focusing on your studies (which is quite lame) you'd have other interests as well. And you'll also have more things to be done macam stalk orang ke.. Eh? haha. And the best part is, that person doesn't even know you like him! So what you see him as, is the real him, it's him being him-et naturale. Kahkah.

#4 -Indirect get-to-know. 

Maksudnya, kalau kau suka orang tu, mesti lah kau selalu tengok dia, observe cara dia, identify personality dia etc. So, without him knowing it, you are actually doing your homework of getting to know him. Bukan judging, tapi buat research. Sebab apa tahu, we may like a person based on his physical, but makin lama kita kenal dia, and makin kita tahu banyak pasal dia, you'll start to realize that he's not your cup of tea. He's just not your type. But you'd still like him, is just that, not to the extent that you want to go any further than that.

#5 -Still friends. 

Maksudnya, kau suka dia, and dia tak tahu kau suka dia, and kau tak confess, then kau dapat tahu he's with someone else, kau frust, tapi at least, kau tak putus kawan dengan dia. Sebab you know, confession could be a good thing, or it could be detrimental. If you're more of a taking-risk-type-of-person, then you should go for the confession thingy, but you're not, and you know your limit of 'liking' that person is not to the extent that you really want him, then don't. Sebab if that person you like, doesn't like you, then he akan rasa uncomfortable to even be friends with you. So there you go, you dah hilang seorang kawan. 

You see, that's why, you should really understand the term 'like'/ 'suka' betul betul. Because, 'like' is the lowest form of love and affection. Unless you really love that person, then you should go for it without any hesitation. Even if he declines, you'd feel a whole lot better because you have let him know your feelings. And chances are, he might love you back. ;) Even if he declines, you know by heart what you want and brave enough to tell him. So, kuddos to you! 

Anyway, this is just my opinion. It might or might not be true. And this only applies to the ladies. Sebab, call me old-fashioned, but I still think that a guy should make the first move, not a girl. So, to the guys out there, if you like a girl, go and tell her when you think it's time. But you know, jangan tunggu lama-lama nanti lama-lama dia diambil orang. She terima or tak terima tu belakang cerita. :) All the best guys!

Tata!

P/s: I might as well write aboutt : 5 Reasons As To Why The Person We Like Should Know We Like Them +.+'

Tat Nenas got 3rd place!!

Hai semua!

This entry is dedicated to my beloved Halusinasians. The results for Karviter (Karnival Teater UM) was announced last night. And guess what?! Kita dapat nombor 3, Menang Best Lighting Award, and dapat 3 pencalonan ie: 

1) Pelakon Perempuan Terbaik: Bijou

2) Pelakon Pembantu Perempuan Terbaik: Juwita

3) Pelakon Pembantu Lelaki Terbaik: Pak Leh

Waktu they announced watak Juwita tercalon, I was like.... WHAT??! Serously? haha. Seriously, Iw as not expecting that, at all. Sumpah terkejut gila. Yang I really expected was Bijou. Tapi dah rezeki kan. Tercalon jelah tapi dengan 4 others tapi tak menang lah. haha. Tapi kan, dapat masuk Top 5 dalam ramai-ramai tu rasa terharu pun ada. Kahkahkah. And then, time they announced we got 3rd place I macam.. WHATTTTTTTTTTT?! Because I was not expecting to get any placing as well. Tiada self-confidence langsung kan? ^^

Alhamdullilah.. Seronok bila effort one whole team tu nampak. Sebab, macam certain colleges tu, jurang antara pelakon-pelakon mereka  is too huge. Yang hebat, hebat gila sampai menang award Pelakon Terbaik etc, tapi yang teghok, teghok bebeno. So it was not balanced. And kita orang ni pulak, eventhough hanya 3 pencalonan and tak menang untuk apa-apa awards, tapi I think we are strong as  a team. Tu yang boleh dapat nombor 3 kot tu. huhu.

I am so happy and grateful that I am a part of Halusinasi. And last night, Abang Modee said, let's aim for the win next year. In Shaa Allah. :) 

Here are some photos. God i am so gonna miss these people. :(

Till then. Papai!