I'm sorry..

When I am too comfortable with my life, I tend to live in ignorance. I no longer care about others. He? She? Them? Who are they? What's her to him? What's him to her? What I am to her. What she is to me.

These questions are absent in my oblivious world. Just now they popped out like budding seeds. The boundaries. The frontier.  Is it the limitless blue canvas in the thin air called sky? Or is it a near distance so visible and proximate to the eyes? What is your limit Naseha Uyaina?

Maybe gentle heys and hellos could break the ice. The intention was to be friendly, gregarious, or more likely, to be accepted. When I look in the mirror, and who do I see? A jubilant, childish and care-free teen was in the reflection. Is it because of the way I was brought up? Being last made me so juvenile? Being last developed my childish personality? The truth is, I don't know. Can you tell me why? What do you see in me?

I will tone down after this, not to satisfy others. But towards a better me. Not everyone can stand the whole of me. I used to not care about all these. But then again, what benefit do I get if I don't change? If being like this could tarnish my reputation in the eyes of my own kind, what good does it bring? Limits and boundaries. These are the things that I think are lacking in me. There is a wall, no a fortress,  I built between me and strangers, but betwixt me and the people around me? Just a thin line separating me and others. Maybe because I trust too much? I want to make friends that much? Now, am I too much?

I beg for forgiveness to each and every beautiful souls that I hurt. To every person that get annoyed by me. To the people who can't stand me. I know it all came from me, myself and I. No one else. And for that, I am truly sorry. I really am. I may not be the best person you have ever known, I have my own flaws, in abundance to be more precise. Yet again, I am a human being, who makes mistakes. It may be repetitive, but I am trying to be a better person.I hope that things would be alright again.. Just know that my intention was, and still is, good. And never did I expect it to be this way.

Again...

I'M SORRY