Ouh Mother!

Ouh mother! Ouh mother! Ouh mother!

Apa yang korang fikir time baca my title? Eh eh.. Ke situ pulak.. Bukan lah! I'm not pregnant! What? tak percaya? Come come. Fell free to sapu sapu my tummy. Flat je. *perasan* ehehe. :P Ok..Teka lagy. Mother of God?? Bukan lah!!! U read too much 9Gag. OK.. Let's not beat around the bush shall we?

It's my mother.. Boy ouh boy.. She's a damn good mother. My role model (badan dia pon macam model dah.jealous aiiiiiiii. If jalan keluar dengan dia, orang inghat she's my sister! Dasat tak dasat my mother?). She's strong. And a very lovely mother. Makin I besar, makin  rapat pulak dengan dia.. She's more like a friend, than a mother. We can talk about anything and everything. Like seriously. School, studies, UM, artis, lagu ( one time nie she sang Bieber's song yang bertajuk Baby tu. Sumpah gelak guling guling), and she's more of a gossip girl nowadays. Bila call je, " Yana!!! Nak tahu tak?????????" HAHAHA. Yeah she's funny. But then, bila datang part sedih tu, mula lah banjir. I pon ikot banjir sekali. Hewhewhew. ^^

Yes! My mommy is the best!

 My point is, my mother is being a 'motherly' mother. Sekarang nie especially. Everytime she calls me, soalan yang dia tak pernah tak tanya is," Yana dah ada boyfriend?" And when I say, "No mother, I don't have a boyfriend". Then she will say, "Zaman sekarang nie, semua orang ada boyfriend/girlfriend. Yana tak nak cari sorang ke? Buat teman. At least Ummi takde lah risau."
 =.=', 

Now you tell me how cool is my mother? That, or she's afraid that her youngest daughter will end up being a spinster (simpang malaikat pat puluh pat). And just now, she called me, so, here's our conversation:

Ummi: Hello assalamualaikum. Yana??

Me: Umiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Waalaikumussssssssssssssssalam. Ehe. Ummi buat apa? Dah makan? Dah mandi? Tak keluar ke? Tengok tv eh? Cite apa? Hindustan? Nangis lagy ke tengok Shah Rukh Khan tu? Bukan Shah Rukh Khan? Amitabhachannn? Heroin dia siapa? (Ok tipu je. conversation nie tak ade lah overrated sangat)

Ummi: Dah makan dah. Yana buat apa?

Me: Tengah sikat rambut. Ehe. (Soalan makan memang sensitif. Baik tak payah jawab)

Ummi: Nak keuar ke? Gi mana?

Me: Nak date dengan Mr.Totty atas katil. Ngehngehngeh :B

Ummi: Ish kamu nie. =.=' Haaaaaaa..Yana nak tao tak (ouh boy. dah start dah, desis hati ku)

Me: .............................................................

Ummi: Ada sorang pak cik nie.. Kawan Ummi.. Yana kenal kot. (memang Yana kenal semua pak cik pak cik kat Kuala tu Ummi, desis hati ku lagy). Dia tanya Ummi pasal Yana.

Me: Ha??? Pak cik tua tanya pasal Yana?? Ummi! Sya no! I don't want to marry an old guy!!! Plishhhhhhhhhhhh?? *puss in boots eyes*

Ummi: Ish kamu nie.. Ade ke.. Bukan lah.... Dia tanya on behalf of anak dia. Dia dok cerita dekat Ummi pasal anak dia yang baru balik Mesir, Amik law ( dalam hati ku tertanya-tanya, ade eh orang amek law dekat Mesir?) Undang  undang Syariah. (ouh. Mungkin.)

Me: Jadi?

Ummi: Kamu nak ke? Kalau kamu nak, ummi boleh buat penanda.. (Mother of Goddddddddddddddddd)

Me: Ummi! I'm only 19!!!!!!

Ummi: Yelaa..Ummi tao la... Tunggu Yana habis belajar dulu laa... Another 2 years kan?

Me: Tak lah.. Another 5 years.

Ummi: 5 years??? (suara terkejut). Kamu bior bebeno Yana...???

Me: Ehe.. Tipu je.. lagy 3 taahun setengah... ^^

Ummi: Ha.. Elok pon..Kenal kenal dulu.. Lawyer dengan lawyer..Elok lah tu (no way am I gonna marry  a lawyer! Tak mahu tak mahu tak mahu. mencik mencik. *sumpah gedik*)

Me: Eh eh ..............Eh, Yusry dah kawin dengan Lisa lah Ummi ( not a good topic to be changed to)

Ummi: Ha tengok.. Semua orang dah berpasangan sekarang nie.. (Ouh boy.. Here we go again........)

Me:.....................................................................

* * * * *

The rest of the conversation? You don't wanna know. Kalu nak type sampai esok pon tak habis.

So, what is the moral of the story?
1) Kalau nak tukar topik, cakap pasal makanan ke.. holiday places ke... NEVER talk about relationships.
2) Just pretend as if you have a boyfriend.. Ok. Bad moral, Uyaina. Bad bad bad moral.
3) Persuade her that you're still young and tak puas enjoy + flirt lagy.  Ok. Another bad moral, Uyaina. Bad  bad bad moral!
4) Sebenar nya, memang tak ada moral of the story pon kan?

Pesanan penaja: People, if you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, do treasure them. Otherwise.. This is how you'll end up. FOREVER ALONE! And yang paling penting, LOVE YOUR MOM!!!

I LOVE YOU UMMI!